By acknowledging past traumas and working towards emotional regulation, ACOAs can create a more balanced reaction to life’s inevitable shifts. Fostering a sense of stability and predictability in one’s life is crucial to addressing these overreactions. Coping strategies may include therapy, mindfulness practices, and establishing a routine. Support groups, like those facilitated by Adult Children of Alcoholics World Service Organization, can also provide a forum for ACOAs to share experiences and learn from others who have faced similar challenges. For clinicians, researchers suggested that while medical intervention is not common, incorporating practices like screen and psychosocial treatments could assist adults and lower the rates of AUD.
Alcohol Use in Families: Impact on Adult Children
Teenagers are particularly vulnerable to the effects of alcohol use disorder. They are at a higher risk of experiencing anxiety and depression, facing challenges with attention deficits, and showing impulsivity and aggression. The roots of this habitual dishonesty often intertwine with the chaotic and unpredictable environments they may have experienced during childhood. Furthermore, ACOAs might have internalized certain behaviors observed in their parent(s) with alcoholism, such as criticism or negativity, and these can surface as judgmental tendencies.
Children of alcoholics may struggle with trust, keeping friendships, communication and conflict resolution skills in their personal and professional relationships. Studies suggest that low self-esteem and the absence of stable, affirming relationships with caregivers can lead to approval-seeking behaviors. This can result in difficulties making decisions independently and an overreliance on others’ opinions, often at the expense of one’s own values and preferences. Children of parents with harmful alcohol or substance use practices report navigating emotional internal (and sometimes external) conflict around the roles of their parents.
Dr. Tian Dayton, a clinical psychologist, reports the impact of this trauma on a child and how the environment in which these children grow up directly reflects the major factors contributing to PTSD. These factors include the feeling of being unable to escape from the pain, being at risk in the family, and being frightened in a place that should be safe. Brown recommends psychotherapy for adult children of alcoholics, and states that group therapy may work extremely well. If a group is unavailable, individual psychotherapy, family therapy, and even psychopharmacology can do a lot of good. Early professional help is also important in preventing more serious problems for the child, including reducing risk for future alcoholism. Child and adolescent psychiatrists can diagnose and treat problems in children of alcoholics.
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Reassure kids that they are not alone, and that there are resources to help them, which we’ll discuss more below. Once these two aspects of self—the inner parent and child—begin to work together, a person can discover a new wholeness within. The adult child in recovery can observe and respond to the conflict, emptiness and loneliness that stem from a parent’s substance abuse, and they can mourn the unchangeable past. They can own their truth, grieve their losses and become accountable for how they live their life today.
Judgmental behavior may also stem from a lack of empathy, which could be a defense mechanism developed in response to their childhood experiences. This can lead to a habit of making negative assumptions without having all the facts, seeing the world through personal biases, or devaluing others to feel superior. Therapeutic interventions, such as counseling and support groups, can help ACOAs understand the root of their relationship difficulties. By addressing issues like codependency, setting healthy boundaries, and cultivating self-awareness, ACOAs can work towards overcoming the patterns established in childhood. This healing process is crucial for ACOAs to build the foundation for successful and fulfilling romantic relationships.
How to Deal with Alcoholic Parents
A trained mental health professional can offer more support with identifying unhelpful habits and coping mechanisms and exploring alternatives that better serve you. According to White, this may happen partly because children often learn to mirror the characteristics of their parents. Coping Skills for Addiction Triggers and Recovery “Adult children of parents with AUD may find closeness with others somewhat uncomfortable given a deep-rooted fear that becoming connected to someone else means a significant risk of emotional pain,” says Peifer. Conversely, Peifer notes that some children who grow up in these environments may become more attention-seeking in order to fulfill the needs their parents couldn’t meet. They might eventually form unstable or unhealthy attachments to others, partially because these bonds feel familiar.
The Patterns of Adaptation While Growing Up Under Parental Alcoholism: A Grounded Theory
- By Buddy TBuddy T is a writer and founding member of the Online Al-Anon Outreach Committee with decades of experience writing about alcoholism.
- Thus, when a parent or primary caregiver has an AUD, the following online resources may be helpful for both children and parents.
- Children of alcoholics tend to struggle more in school than other children.
- Research has shown the deep psychological impression of parental alcohol use over COAs.
- Perceived victimhood is a psychological phenomenon where individuals view themselves as the victims of others’ actions, often feeling wronged or oppressed.
In a study of more than 25,000 adults, those who had a parent with AUD remembered their childhoods as “difficult” and said they struggled with “bad memories” of their parent’s alcohol misuse. Some people experience this as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), like other people who had different traumatic childhood experiences. As a result of trust issues or the lack of self-esteem, adult children of parents with AUD often struggle with romantic relationships or avoid getting close to others. Many ACOAs may have grown up in environments where they felt they needed to protect themselves from the unpredictability of a parent struggling with alcohol addiction.
Inconsistency might also manifest as a defense mechanism, where ACOAs protect themselves from the potential disappointment or pain that stability and routine can bring when disrupted. Impulsive behavior is a common trait among ACOAs, characterized by actions that are poorly conceived, prematurely expressed, unnecessarily risky, and inappropriate to the situation. This impulsivity often stems from a mix of emotional regulation difficulties and a history of unpredictable environments during childhood.
We strive to create content that is clear, concise, and easy to understand. If you or the parent have additional questions—or you simply need someone to walk you through the treatment process—American Addiction Centers can help. While AAC offers several treatment facilities across the U.S., our admissions navigators at can provide a host of information and options for your unique situation. They can not only answer questions for those seeking treatment but also provide information and options for those attempting to assist the person with the AUD. And M.A.F. described the main idea, developed a study design, and conducted data analysis.